A Day In The Life Of An Indian Cyclist

*Opening Scene in the life of an Indian cyclist*

It’s 6 in the morning when you’re all set to go for your morning ride. You wake up, rub your eyes and start getting ready. Water bottle filled, phone battery charged to full, cycling helmet on, strava set to a new ride, Garmin last ride data refreshed and your cycling kit on point!

You look at your bike with a broad smile on your face and say, “Let’s go baby!”

A quick air pressure and brake check and you are ready to roll.

You get your bike outside the compound in full style. Of course, you’ve got to be noticed!
After all, you’re too fancy for the road!

You’re above and beyond normal. But as you set your foot out, there are many stories that unwind as you find yourself playing the main role.

*Scene 1 in the life of an Indian cyclist*

The neighbour’s child as always looking at you in admiration: “Bhaiya kidhar jaa rahe ho?” “Bhaiya race kar rahe ho?”
You go on to say, “Haan Chintu!  Aaj toh Strava pe KOM toh mein he runga!”

With a smile on your face, you pat the child’s back and off you go. (Leaving the kid behind wondering what is KOM)

*Scene 2 in the life of an Indian cyclist*

It’s a bright beautiful morning with the early risers chirping their sweet song. You’re cruising on your bike and enjoying the wind. After covering quite some distance, you see your favorite chai waala.

You park the bicycle and start enjoying your morning tea. As you sit to soak in the view with a cup of cutting chai, all of sudden, you notice a stranger standing CLOSE to your bike.

Your heart has already started beating faster.

What’s worse is that he starts playing with both the shifters! *click click click*

He pauses what he’s doing and questions you, “Bhaiya gear wali hai?” In your head, you have killed him a 1000* times for touching your bicycle! Haath mat lagna aur warnaaaaaa.

Rather, you smile and say “Haan gear waali hain.”
Drink that chai as fast as possible and make sure there’s no unwanted human touch again on your bicycle.

*Scene 3 in the life of an Indian cyclist*

You’re pedalling your way on a flyover, training harder and harder. Suddenly, two guys on a motorcycle come near to you and ask “Bhaiya kahan ja rahe ho…Roz chalate ho, cycle kitne ki hai?”

Ignorance is bliss, isn’t it?

*Scene 4 in the life of an Indian cyclist*

You have completed 150 kms and now you have decided to take rest for a while.  You stop by a juice waala and decide to order something fresh. While you’re about to drink that juice, an uncle with his son approaches you.
What’s next?
He goes on to say, “Desi cycle chalaya karo, usme thakan nahi hoti”

Facepalm!

*Closing Scene in the life of an Indian cyclist*

You have completed 200 km and you’ve just come back home. You have achieved the KOM on Strava. You’re excited to share your achievements with your friends and family members.

But wait, what you get back, is one universal dialogue “Pagal ho kya? Chal, ghar ke safaai kar abhi!

We are sure you might have faced even funnier situations while you’re on your bike. We’d love to know some of them!

Do write to us on velocrushonline@gmail.com.

Funny Compilation by Ayussh Srivastav
Edited by: Percy Karat and Abhishek Tarfe